Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it's great music for shaving your balls
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
