Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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