you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
