About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
