There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
