sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
