If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i dont even know how to be here
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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