he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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