I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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