its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
