i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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