apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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