what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
