Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
