matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
zippers are such a cool invention
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
