i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
