I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize