Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize