come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
