dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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