just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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