Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize