as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You ruined the universe
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
