When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She needs sedatives and a leash
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
