Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
