"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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