I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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