I cockslap morals
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
