Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize