so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
