North Korea, Best Korea!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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