I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize