new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
