It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize