Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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