When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
