i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
