I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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