Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
