you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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