Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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