ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
