I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
