We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize