Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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