Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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