I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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