hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
