he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
