Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize