coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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