He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
