i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
