I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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