The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
