She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My ATM looks so different sober.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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