So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
