the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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