She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
