How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
