I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
