We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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