i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
