Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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