There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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