who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
