I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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