why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
