I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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