Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
