honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
