I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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