Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
is wine microwaveable?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
