Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
