hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
