I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
